


find me in the dark

by sur (reclist)



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:35:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26417305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reclist/pseuds/sur
Summary: When the virus hit, Jiwon and Jinhwan were both in the wrong place at the wrong time, or in the right place at the right time, depending on how you look at it.“You know, this project would be over a lot faster if you cared enough to help,” Jinhwan says.Jiwon shrugs. “I wanted to go home hours ago,” he argues. “If you want to stay, that’s fine, I’ll stay with you, but you can’t make me work. I’m done for the day.”A crash and a bang can be heard across the empty library, and both of them stop bickering in favor of listening.The view of the street from the third floor where they are is something out of a horror movie.
Relationships: Kim Jinhwan/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 8
Kudos: 19





	find me in the dark

**Author's Note:**

> this one goes out to the lovely, incredibly patient, [licie](https://twitter.com/beaujiwon) who commissioned the plot 'frenemies get stuck somewhere together' and i had to go and make it 15k words long for no good reason.
> 
> you can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/slutjinhwan)

When the virus hit, Jiwon and Jinhwan were both in the wrong place at the wrong time, or in the right place at the right time, depending on how you look at it.

They are the only ones left in the school library at this hour.

Jinhwan is good at focusing even when being disturbed, but Jiwon’s loud gum chewing is too much. Jinhwan’s been trying to ignore it for the past couple of minutes, but on the third try of reading the same page, his tolerance runs out.

“Can you stop that?” Jinhwan says, venom in his voice.

Jiwon isn’t even paying attention. It takes him a second to realize Jinhwan spoke. “Huh?” he asks, not stopping.

“You know, this project would be over a lot faster if you cared enough to help.”

Jiwon shrugs. “I wanted to go home hours ago,” he argues. “If you want to stay, that’s fine, I’ll stay with you, but you can’t make me work. I’m done for the day.”

Jinhwan’s seriously about to slap this guy.

Their history teacher had assigned them a research paper as their final project for the year, drawing names and pairing people together at random. Of course, because Jinhwan is always the lucky one, he got paired up with his nemesis. Or at least that’s what Jiwon would be to him, if he cared enough to give it a name.

A crash and a bang can be heard across the empty library, and both of them stop bickering in favor of listening.

“Car accident?” asks Jiwon, as he gets up from his seat and walks to the nearest window.

Jinhwan is right behind him. “Can you see anything? Do I call an ambulance?”

But Jiwon doesn’t answer, and Jinhwan is about to get pissed again when he too gets a good look out the window. “What the  _ fuck _ ?”

The view of the street from the third floor where they are is something out of a horror movie.

The campus gates are locked, but on the other side there is a horde of what at first look like people walking mindlessly. They seem like they have nowhere to go, but it’s obvious by their body language that they’re not human anymore. 

Their loud groans and whines are faint, but still audible, and even through the closed window Jinhwan can smell the pure, raw, disgusting stench of rotting meat.

“Is this a prank?” Jinhwan asks, dumbfounded.

“It has to be,” Jiwon states.

“What the fuck do we do?”

Jiwon takes a look around the empty library. “I– I don’t know. Is anyone else here?” Jiwon tries. “Hello?” he yells at the empty room.

Jinhwan takes off running to check on the librarian.

He isn’t surprised when he doesn’t find her anywhere. Jinhwan has an awful feeling in his gut. The air feels heavy with doom.

He comes back to the desk they were sitting on to find Jiwon frozen in place. When he sees Jinhwan he says, “We have to go. Before whatever they are find a way through the gate. Let’s try to get to the dorms.”

Jinhwan nods, and they quickly make their way out of the library, leaving all their belongings behind. It’s not like a chemistry book is going to come in handy. “Stairs or elevator?” Jinhwan asks.

Jiwon takes a second. “Stairs. Don’t want any surprises.”

Jinhwan nods even though Jiwon can’t see it, being two steps ahead of him.

Jinhwan didn’t know stairs could feel so fucking long.

As they go down, they stop at every landing to make sure no undead are waiting for them around the corner, but the entire building seems to be empty.

Jinhwan takes the phone he almost forgot he had from his pocket as Jiwon leads the way. “There’s no signal,” he says, just like they expected. “How did this even  _ happen _ ?”

Jiwon stops on the last step and peeks into the hallway. “Coast is clear. Let’s make a run for it?” he asks, looking at Jinhwan.

“Yes. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

They cross the campus at full speed, hyper aware of their surroundings but finding no one and nothing around.

“Wait,” Jinhwan says as he stops in his tracks.

Jiwon takes a second to realize it and he has to walk back a couple steps. “What?”

“I just–” he says, looking around. “There has to be people in the dorms, why isn’t anyone else outside? Why is it so quiet?”

Jiwon scoffs. “You’re worrying about the wrong thing. Who gives a fuck?”

Jinhwan is disgusted, and he lets it show. “Your apathy towards other human beings is staggering. Do you even have friends?”

Jiwon rolls his eyes. “More than you. Now let’s fucking move, unless you want to die, too.”

It’s a heavy statement. Jiwon seems to be the kind of person who’s capable of putting himself first, but Jinhwan isn’t wired like that at all. He doesn’t let himself dwell on the thought that, in this scenario, that could be the difference between life and death. But he refuses to lose his humanity so easily.

“You’d leave me to die without a second thought, wouldn’t you?” Jinhwan says.

Jiwon doesn’t dignify that with an answer; he simply starts power walking again, and Jinhwan has no other option but to follow.

The dorms are quiet, at first. They manage to climb two sets of stairs up to the second floor where their rooms are before they encounter an undead.

It catches both of them by surprise, even though they’ve been as careful as they could. It seems like it wasn’t enough.

They turn a corner and come face to face with one of them. Jiwon is quick to dodge it, but Jinhwan doesn’t have his reflexes.

The undead grabs Jinhwan by the shoulders with both hands, aiming its disgusting mouth at Jinhwan’s neck, right before Jiwon pushes Jinhwan out of the way.

Jiwon uses such strength that both of them almost trip and fall down, but Jiwon’s grip is too strong.

And that’s when the reality of the situation catches up with Jinhwan.

They take off running, and by sheer luck they make it to Jinhwan’s room without further encounters.

Jinhwan enters first and heads to his closet, grabbing his old duffle bag, and shoves a mix of clothes, snacks, and a Swiss Army knife.

“What else do you have around here?” Jiwon asks.

Jinhwan thinks for a second. “This is all I have,” he says. “But I don’t know about my roommate...”

Jiwon takes the chance and starts raiding the other side of the room, looking for anything they could use. 

He finds more clothes, a pair of scissors, and a thick rope.

“Food and water,” Jinhwan tells him. “We need food and water.”

Jiwon doesn’t find anything apart from a family sized pack of oreos and an empty water bottle. “This is everything, I think,” he says.

Jinhwan nods, not doubting him for a second. “Let’s move, then.”

Jiwon is silent. He takes his own phone from his bag before saying, “Still no signal.”

Jinhwan doesn’t need to tell him it’ll probably stay that way forever.

“Let’s go. Your dorm?” he asks.

Jiwon nods. “A couple doors down.”

Jinhwan takes the responsibility of opening the dorm door and checking the hallway.

When he doesn’t see anyone he signals Jiwon to come out behind him.

Jiwon’s dorm is an absolute mess. Jinhwan wonders how they’re supposed to find any supplies in the chaos.

Jiwon proves him wrong when he knows exactly where to look for stuff. He even ventures into the mess of his roommate and adds a couple of things to their growing collection — o ne of those being an unopened bottle of vodka.

Jinhwan frowns. “Really?”

“For injuries,” Jiwon excuses himself, but both of them know that’s not the real reason. Jinhwan lets him have it. He’ll probably find some use in it too sooner or later.

They’re exiting the building and into the campus before they realize it, the night mockingly peaceful for the end of the world.

“Where to now?” Jinhwan asks.

Jiwon takes a deep breath, almost looking like he doesn’t want to say anything. “My parents live nearby,” he confesses. Jinhwan doesn’t need to ask why he’s hesitating. Sometimes not knowing what happened to someone is better than wondering. “If we hurry we should get there in ten minutes on foot.”

Jinhwan nods in agreement, and they set off for the edge of campus.

For a second they forgot about the horde of undeads surrounding the gates of the college. “Fuck,” Jiwon says.

“Yeah,” is all Jinhwan can say as they both stare at the edge of campus from a distance, the undead trying to get through with no avail.

“I know a way to get out,” Jinhwan says, suddenly remembering his earlier years at campus. “There should be a hole in the fence behind the gymnasium.”

Jiwon raises an eyebrow, and slowly a smirk shows in his face. “You’re telling me you used to sneak out?”

Jinhwan only rolls his eyes at him; he’s not about to confess to anything. “Just follow me.”

Jinhwan guides them past some bushes and finally into the opposite edge of campus where a hole in the fence greets them, inviting and promising.

“This is our way out,” Jinhwan says, not stopping before he crawls his way out.

Jiwon follows suit. “So you’re not as angelic as I thought you’d be.”

Jinhwan wants to be offended, but angelic is not the worst thing he’s been called. “I’d rather say resourceful.”

Jiwon doesn’t give him the satisfaction of acknowledging that with an answer.

Once they’re finally out on the streets both their senses sharpen up. Walking slowly and checking every curb becomes second nature without them even needing to agree on doing it.

They see a lot of undeads, but none are close enough to notice them.

“So sight isn’t their forte,” Jinhwan says. “Maybe sound?”

Jiwon, in an act of unsolicited bravery, grabs a rock from the floor and throws it as far as he can. Jinhwan’s heart skips a beat.

He wants to yell at Jiwon for doing something so careless without letting him know first, but the truth is that it works. None of the undead even look that way.

Jinhwan almost takes the chance to yell at Jiwon, just to let loose some of his anger, but he collects himself before the impulse wins over him. There’s no point in arguing, not when it comes to Jiwon.

“So, smell,” Jiwon says. “That’s how they’ll notice us.”

A dozen ideas cross Jinhwan's mind to camouflage them, but neither of them thought of bringing deodorant or perfume from their rooms, and now they're too far away to risk going back. There are no undead bodies to steal clothes from, either, and Jiwon and Jinhwan are left smelling like healthy, delicious zombie food.

“Smell me,” Jiwon says out of nowhere.

“Wh– Ew, no,” Jinhwan answers.

Jiwon rolls his eyes. “Dude, it’s the fucking apocalypse, we should check if we smell like sweat.”

“I hate this,” Jinhwan says, like the end of the world is secondary, but does as he’s told. He scrunches his nose. “You’re smelly.”

“Fuck,” Jiwon says. Then he takes a sniff at Jinhwan’s neck, who almost shivers at the proximity. “You smell like aftershave.”

“Yes,” Jinhwan states. “I am a clean boy, unlike someone else.”

Jiwon doesn’t even bother answering that. “We’re six blocks away,” he says instead. “We should pick up the pace.”

Jinhwan grabs Jiwon’s wrist before he can, though. “You idiot, you’re gonna start sweating.”

Jiwon groans. “Fuck, right.”

Jinhwan can sense Jiwon’s anxiety, and he can’t blame him. They don’t know what they’ll find when they get to his house, they have no idea what might have happened to his family.

It takes every cell in Jinhwan’s body not to freak out about his own, but he keeps checking his phone in hopes the signal will magically come back. It’s the only thing keeping him from breaking down.

It doesn’t take Jinhwan long to notice Jiwon is also strong minded, which works in their favor, no matter how annoying Jinhwan finds Jiwon. Jiwon might not be the ideal partner in the apocalypse, but he definitely has the ideal personality. They’re both dealing with this crisis head on, instead of cowering and giving into their fears.

_ It could be worse _ _ , _ Jinhwan has to remind himself every now and then, especially when he wants to smack Jiwon in the back of the head.

Jinhwan sighs. “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about that stupid history paper anymore.”

Jiwon laughs. “I think I’d choose the research over the death of humanity, though.”

Jinhwan giggles, not even trying to lie about his priorities.

Looks like they also share a sense of humor.

  
  


They’re a turn away from their destination when the smell of dead flesh overwhelms them. They both act quickly, stopping in their tracks and walking a couple steps backwards, away from the undead around the curve having a feast in the middle of the street.

Jinhwan can barely tell it’s eating a human body —  it looks more like a random assortment of raw meat.

The scent and the scenery almost make him gag.

“Fuck,” Jinhwan says. “How do we get past it?” They are so close from what they hope is a safe place, but he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“We could go around the block,” Jiwon proposes.

“Not an option. I saw a bunch of them in that street.”

“Then run past?”

Jinhwan tries to come up with a better idea, but there’s not much else to think about. “Do we both run at the same time?”

“Wait,” Jiwon says and he grabs his keys from a pocket in his bag. “I’ll go first, open the door, then you.” Jinhwan is about to argue when Jiwon goes on. “That way if it gets too close to me you can distract it towards you, and if it gets too close to you I’ll distract it towards me, makes sense?”

Jinhwan takes a deep breath. “Yes. Let’s do it.”

Jiwon counts to three and takes off running. The undead seems to smell him but is too occupied with it’s current meal to pay him any attention.

So when it’s Jinhwan’s turn to run, he lowers his guard. Which proves to be a mistake, Jinhwan realizes, as he’s jogging towards Jiwon when he yells, “Watch out!”

Jinhwan barely has time to turn his head around before the rotten smell becomes so strong it makes him dizzy. Jinhwan manages a good old kick in the crotch, and while the undead doesn’t really seem to feel pain, it’s enough to stop its advances for the couple seconds it takes Jinhwan to run for his life, Jiwon holding the door to his home open.

Jiwon closes it with a smash, locking it from the inside as quickly as he can.

Jinhwan is bent over, hands on his knees, as he tries to get some air back in his lungs. “Jesus fucking Christ,” he curses.

Jiwon giggles, and Jinhwan almost kicks him too, before he says, “That makes two times I’ve saved your life.”

“Leave it to you to gloat after a near death experience.”

Jiwon shrugs. “I give myself credit where credit is due.”

Once the adrenaline of the chase runs out, they’re both met again by the anxiety of uncertainty. There are no sounds in the house other than their own, the lights are off, and nothing is barricaded.

It only takes Jinhwan one good look to realize Jiwon hadn’t been hoping for better.

They stay still in silence for what feels like minutes; Jinhwan doesn’t dare break it.

“Maybe they left,” Jiwon says, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t move.

Jinhwan swallows, takes a second, and asks, “Do you want me to look around the house?” _So if they’re dead you don’t have to see it_ _._

Jiwon clenches his fists at his sides, but doesn’t answer. He stares at the floor in silence, and Jinhwan can only wait patiently for Jiwon to speak.

He doesn’t, though. He only nods, a movement so small Jinhwan almost doesn’t notice. 

Jinhwan takes off deep into the house, checking the kitchen, the living room, a spare bathroom and finally the backyard before going back to the front door. “There’s no one on this floor,” he says. Jiwon nods, biting his lower lip. He looks torn between expecting the worst and hoping for the best. “I’ll check upstairs, okay?”

Before he gets far, Jiwon says. “It’s my parents and my brother. He was with my parents last time I checked.”

Jinhwan nods and resumes walking up the stairs. So he’s looking for three people– three bodies, realistically.

He doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary as he gets to the end of the stairs, so he looks down the hallway and sees the door to the last room is wide open. That’s where he heads, and a couple steps in he hears the noise of what he’d bet are vultures.

He braces himself for the worst as he reaches the door. The scene in front of him is a hundred times worse than Jinhwan’s worst nightmare.

It smells more putrid than the undead. The window is wide open, but it smells like piss and shit and dried blood and rotten meat. There are three vultures going at the pieces of flesh, because they can’t be called bodies anymore, not in this state.

Jinhwan covers his nose, but he still ventures into the room to try and confirm how many dead people there used to be. He can barely make out a bunch of limbs, at least five hands, and that’s as much as Jinhwan can handle.

He runs down the corridor stopping where the stairs begin to breathe cleaner air. But he doesn’t let Jiwon wait for much longer.

As Jinhwan goes down, he sees Jiwon sitting on the floor, shaking, but he looks up when he hears Jinhwan coming back.

There’s a millisecond where Jiwon’s eyes look hopeful, but Jinhwan’s expression leaves no doubt. Jiwon breaks down into little pieces in front of Jinhwan, who hurries to his side and holds him in his arms as Jiwon’s sobbing surrounds them.

“I’m sorry,” Jinhwan says, but there are no words that can make Jiwon feel better. He rocks them back and forth, trying to comfort Jiwon. “I’m so sorry.”

“Is it–” Jiwon tries, before swallowing dry and trying again. “All of them?”

“Yeah.”

Jiwon has a tight grip on Jinhwan’s shirt, and he hides his face in Jinhwan’s neck as he cries out, “It’s not fucking fair! It’s not fair!” Jiwon is choking on his own words. “I want my mom,” he sobs.

Jinhwan doesn’t know what else to do other than hold him close.

Half an hour later, Jiwon is numb. He’s still on the floor, but Jinhwan gets up. “I’m gonna check the house for supplies.” Jiwon doesn’t answer, he just stares at nothing, unmoving.

In his frenzy to find Jiwon’s family, Jinhwan didn’t pay attention to the house, and he’s just now noticing the kitchen has been raided. “Fuck,” he swears as he moves into the living room.

There’s nothing anywhere.

The upstairs rooms are also empty, and Jinhwan dreads going into the room with who used to be Jiwon’s family, but if they want to survive, they don’t have the luxury to pick and choose.

He only finds a baseball bat under a bed, and thanks whoever that he found a weapon.

He goes back downstairs and finds Jiwon still on the floor, but this time he’s sitting against the wall, knees up and his head resting on them.

Jinhwan kneels next to him. “Jiwonnie,” Jinhwan tries, but Jiwon doesn’t answer. Jinhwan wishes he could give him the time he needs, but they don’t have such a thing at the end of the world.

Instead, he lays a hand on his shoulder. Jiwon slaps it away in less than a second. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

Jinhwan sits back, giving Jiwon space. “You have ten minutes, then we need to make a decision on what to do next.”

Meanwhile, Jinhwan takes advantage of the power in the house still being on. Jinhwan doesn’t bother asking, instead he says, “Give me your phone. I’ll charge them.”

Jiwon looks like it takes all the strength in him to move.

Jinhwan heads to the living room and plugs in their phones, checking if either of them have signal to no avail.

He keeps checking the time until the ten minutes pass, and then he goes to Jiwon again.

“Hey,” Jinhwan says softly. “What do you want to do next?” Jiwon doesn’t answer, face still hidden. “Jiwon. We need to make a decision, now.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” Jiwon chuckles sarcastically. “We’re all gonna die anyway.”

Jinhwan gets pissed. He pushes Jiwon until he looks up at him. “Shut up. No, we’re not. We’re alive now, and we have the chance to survive, a chance most people didn’t get.”

Jiwon grins, huge, tears running down his cheeks. “We will, eventually. What’s the point? Because I just lost mine.”

Jinhwan slaps him. Jiwon is left frozen.

Until he grabs Jinhwan by the shoulders, pushes him down against the floor, and punches him right on the nose. “Don’t fucking touch me! What’s wrong with you!?”

Jinhwan fights back, kicks him in the nuts, and Jiwon doubles over in pain, moving away from Jinhwan. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you!” Jinhwan yells. “What’s your idea, then? Just lie on the floor and decay? Is that your choice?”

“Who are you to judge me?” Jiwon screams back as he stands up. “You didn’t just lose your entire family!”

Jinhwan gets up and shoves him back. “How would you know? I don’t even fucking know if they’re alive! You’re not the only one with something to lose.”

“I don’t have anything anymore!”

Something pulls at Jinhwan’s heart, but he blames it on the fight.

Jiwon turns around and heads to the living room. Jinhwan has no idea what to do next.

Jiwon comes back with his phone and charger in hand. “I’m getting the fuck out of here. I can’t stay in this fucking house.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jinhwan says, stepping in front of him to block the way out. “There’s still one of those things right outside.”

As pissed as Jiwon is, he knows Jinhwan’s right. “There’s a back door,” he says instead.

Jinhwan starts grabbing their things and, reluctantly, Jiwon does the same.

Because Jinhwan can’t help himself, he says, “Thought you wanted to lie down and rot?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jiwon says and walks away.

They exit through the backyard of the house, and the streets look empty.

“I don’t understand,” Jinhwan says. “We haven’t seen a single person. Not one. Where is everyone?”

Jiwon sighs. “I don’t know. Maybe everyone ran away? It took us a while to find out what had happened; maybe it started hours ago and we were too busy studying. Ironic.”

“ _ I  _ was studying,” Jinhwan clarifies.

Jiwon turns to look at him. “Really? Everyone’s dead and you’re still pissed about that?”

Jinhwan shrugs. “Where are we going anyway?”

“No idea,” Jiwon answers. “We should find somewhere to spend the night.”

If it weren’t for the street lights, they would’ve never made it this far. “If the power runs out we’re fucked.”

“I have a flashlight,” Jiwon says.

They walk a couple of blocks, sneaking into every house they come across to find it empty of food, water, of anything that could be of use.

“So, whoever was left alive must have raided all these houses and left,” Jinhwan says as they’re leaving one of the homes.

“Assholes,” Jiwon says.

Jinhwan is about to argue when his phone starts vibrating. It takes him a second to connect the dots. “Oh my fucking God,” he says as he grabs the phone from his pocket and sees it’s a call from his dad.

“Dad!?” Jinhwan says as soon as he answers. “Oh God, thank God you’re alright. Are you with mom? Is Seiyeon with you?”

Jiwon stops walking just as Jinhwan does too.

Jiwon can only stare and wait as Jinhwan talks to his dad, who is nodding every now and then, both sighing in relief and then getting tense as he asks, “And Seiyeon?”

Jiwon doesn’t need to hear the answer to know it’s not a good one.

Jinhwan kneels in the middle of the street, choking on a sob. “Fuck,” he says. A couple moments later he’s speaking again, “Okay. Yes, yeah. The island. Grandpa’s house. Yes. I’m okay, I’m with a friend. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I’ll meet you there. Can I talk to mom?” Jinhwan takes a second to breathe before saying, “Mom? Mom, I love you, please be careful. Yes, yes. Yes, we need supplies but we’re okay. I’ll meet you there. Stay safe– Mom. Mom?” Jinhwan checks the phone’s screen before putting it back to his ear. “Hello? Mom? Can you hear me?”

Given Jinhwan’s face, Jiwon guesses she can’t.

“So?” Jiwon asks.

Jinhwan takes a second to breathe before he gets back up and puts his phone in his pocket. “My sister is probably dead,” Jinhwan chuckles, gaining a new understanding of Jiwon’s reaction back at his parent’s home. 

“I’m sorry,” Jiwon says.

Jinhwan looks up at him, a fond smile tugging at his lips as his eyes begin to water again. “Me too.” Jinhwan wants to curl into a ball and cry, but he knows that’s a privilege they don’t have. Instead he sits on the floor, hands tugging at his hair in desperation as the tears run down his cheeks.

Five minutes. He’ll allow himself five minutes of grief and mourning and then he’ll get back up and go on.

Before his time is up, however, Jiwon speaks. “Jinhwan, we can’t stay in the middle of the street.”

Jinhwan sobs. “I know. Just give me a second.” He can’t be sure, but he thinks he hears Jiwon scoff. Jinhwan looks up at him to catch him rolling his eyes. “Did you just fucking rolls your eyes at me?”

“I didn’t have time to grieve,” Jiwon argues.

Jinhwan is bewildered. “Yes, you did! We spent like an hour at the house.”

“And that’s supposed to be enough? I didn’t only lose a sister,” Jiwon laughs dryly.

Jinhwan stands up abruptly and charges towards Jiwon, chest puffing up, forehead touching Jiwon’s in an act of defiance. “This isn’t a fucking competition, you piece of shit.”

“You didn’t let me fall apart,” Jiwon says, walking forward and pushing Jinhwan back. “So I won’t give you the pleasure either.”

“The  _ pleasure _ ? I forced you to keep it together so you’d survive, you ungrateful asshole. _ ” _

_ “ _ Well, I didn’t fucking ask for it!”

Jinhwan raises his arms in defeat, taking a couple steps backwards. “You’re impossible.”

“Fuck this shit,” Jiwon curses. He grabs his bag from the floor and says, “Whatever. I’m leaving. Good luck getting to your fucking family.”

Jinhwan watches Jiwon walk away, but no matter how badly he wants to never see him again, he’s also too good a person to leave him to a more than certain death **.**

There’s something else, hidden behind Jinhwan’s heart and making his stomach feel queasy at the prospect of losing Jiwon, but he convinces himself it’s the idea of being alone that’s making him feel weird. It’s not Jiwon himself. It can’t be.

“Jiwon,” he yells, but Jiwon doesn’t look back. “Dude, c’mon. There is a place for us to go to.”

Jiwon stops at that, turning around. “Where?”

They’re both too proud to apologize to one another, but Jinhwan doesn’t think that’s a priority.

“My granddad lives on an island,” Jinhwan tells him. “He’s lived there for the past ten years, it’s almost completely self sufficient. My dad got a hold of him and there aren’t any infected people as of right now. Looks like the undead can’t swim, so we should be safe there.”

Jiwon sighs loudly before walking back to Jinhwan. “So, how do we get there?” Jiwon asks.

Jinhwan thinks about their options before saying, “We need to get more supplies first. I work at a grocery store and it’s close enough from here. We’ll need–”

Jiwon interrupts him. “You have access to a whole ass store and you didn’t think to mention it?”

“Sorry,” Jinhwan says sarcastically. “I was too busy running away from zombies. Didn’t really occur to me how now I’m technically fired.”

Jiwon is quiet for a second. They are still standing in the middle of the street, both of them overwhelmed with different emotions. Rage, dread, anguish, pain, loss, but also a new sense of purpose and hope.

They might make it, if they can keep it together for long enough.

Jinhwan takes off walking without saying more, and Jiwon follows in silence.

Every house they walk by looks raided and empty, but they still check all of them in hopes of finding anything at all. “We need deodorant,” Jinhwan says as they leave one of the homes. “Or perfume, or something to mask our smell. But it’s obvious we’re not the only ones who realized that.”

Jiwon nods in agreement. “So, where to now?”

“We walk.”

  
  


It’s been an hour of walking through deserted streets and they’ve only seen two undeads and no people in their path. Jinhwan isn’t happy about it, but he guesses it’s better than zombie overpopulation.

“We’re almost there,” Jinhwan says, drinking the last sip of water they have.

“What if it’s been raided?”

“Don’t think so. The store got robbed a couple times, so the shutters and doors are sturdy.”

When they get there the place looks untouched. Jinhwan and Jiwon breathe a sigh of relief. “Thank God,” Jiwon says.

Jinhwan proceeds to get his keys and unlocks the door, stepping inside. Jiwon follows suit, and Jinhwan locks the door behind them.

“We should rest,” Jinhwan says, finally letting the exhaustion of a day and a half since the outbreak overcome him. He throws their bags on the floor, and lies down right there, a foot away from the door, not even checking if the building has power or grabbing water or anything to eat. He falls asleep on the spot, with a sense of security he hasn’t felt since they left campus.

  
  


Something changes overnight, but they don’t know until they try to leave.

When Jinhwan wakes up he’s disoriented and groggy. It takes his brain a blissful, peaceful second before he remembers their new reality.

Jiwon is awake, lying on the floor a couple feet away. 

“Hey,” Jiwon greets him.

“Hi. For a second I forgot it’s the apocalypse,” Jinhwan confesses.

Jiwon chuckles and nods his head in agreement. “Best second of the day.”

After some much needed sleep, they have breakfast. The power is still on, for now, so they eat the yogurts and milk and whatever they can find before the fridges stop working.

There are no showers, but they have soap, shampoo and working water in the bathroom, which is more than they’ve had since they left campus. It’s not comfortable, but it gets the job done.

They also left their phones charging, but they still have no signal.

Jinhwan is filling up a bag with supplies when he says, “We should take a couple carts to carry all the bags.”

Jiwon nods. “Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

They load bags upon bags of food, water, toiletries, flashlights, chargers, perfumes and deodorant to hide their scent. By the end of it, they have two carts full of them.

“That should be enough,” Jinhwan says after he’s done doing the math to ration the food and water. “I’ll go ahead and open the shutters, the carts won’t fit through the door.”

Jiwon nods, while snacking on some chips. “Need help?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

_ Good  _ doesn’t last long. Jinhwan needs to go outside and unlock the safety system keeping the shutters locked to the ground.

As he’s opening the door he hears a faint noise, but he doesn’t pay it any mind. Until he has a foot outside and takes a look, and he’s so incredibly glad his scream can’t be heard by the undead.

Before he can’t even get his foot back inside, Jiwon is behind him. “What is it? What happened? Are you okay?”

Before Jinhwan answers, he closes the door again, locking it up and taking a second to calm down. “It’s full of them,” is the only explanation Jiwon gets.

“What? The undead?” Jiwon waits for Jinhwan to answer again, but Jinhwan doesn’t add anything.

“Fuck,” Jinhwan curses, letting himself fall on the floor. “Yeah,” he finally brings Jiwon up to speed. “There’s so many, like at least a couple dozens.”

Jiwon kneels next to him. “Are you okay? Did they bite you?”

Jinhwan takes a deep breath. “No, just scared the shit out of me.”

Jiwon gets up and he offers his hand to Jinhwan to do the same. He takes it, and if Jiwon notices him shaking, he doesn’t mention it.

“Can I take a look?”

“Uh,” Jinhwan takes a second to think. “The roof. Either that or we have to open the blinds again and that’s not an option right now.”

Jiwon nods. “Yeah, that’s good. We should get a better look at the situation, too.”

Jinhwan guides them to the backroom of the store, and he unlocks the door to the stairs that will take them for the roof.

The first thing they notice when they get outside is the rotten smell. It makes Jinhwan cough.

Jiwon just looks straight up disgusted.

They walk to the edge in silence, survival instinct urging them not to make noise even though they know they don’t need to.

The panoramic view is breathtaking in the worst possible way.

“Oh, Christ,” Jinhwan says.

Jiwon silently crosses himself as he watches, entranced, at the hordes of zombies in the street.

“That’s not a couple dozen,” Jiwon finally speaks. “That’s at least a hundred.”

It’s so full of them they can barely see the ground.

“Where did they even come from, so quickly?” Jiwon says.

“Maybe they are migrating?”

“Like birds?”

Jinhwan shrugs. There’s no way to know for sure.

They go back downstairs and sit on the floor in silence, processing the new situation, at a loss of what to do next.

Jiwon speaks again, “How in hell did we not hear them? Oh, right,”

“Sturdy doors,” Jinhwan and Jiwon say at the same time.

Jiwon nods. “Yeah. So, what now?”

“We need a new plan,” Jinhwan says, determined to get to his parents. These assholes aren’t gonna take what’s left of his family away from him.

Before he can say that, Jiwon adds. “I think the safest option is to wait it out. When they realize there’s no food here they’ll move somewhere else.”

Jinhwan frowns, almost scoffing in annoyance. “We have deodorants, perfumes, weapons. Why would we stay any longer?”

Jiwon stares for a second, “There’s at least a couple hundred of them, are you crazy?” It takes Jiwon a second to realize where Jinhwan is coming from. “You’re blinded by your desperation to get to your family.”

Jinhwan gasps, offended, scared, indeed desperately. “Well, I’m sorry I have one left that I want to see again.”

It’s a low blow.

Jiwon doesn’t even answer, he just gets up and walks away.

It’s kind of impressive how Jiwon manages to avoid Jinhwan for hours on end after that, even though there’s really nowhere to go in the store.

Jinhwan is normally the kind of guy that will apologize and own up to his fuck ups, but in this case he can’t let go. He’s taking it out on Jiwon, he knows, and he hopes Jiwon knows, too, but Jinhwan is unable to give himself the privilege of apologizing– his anger, frustration, helplessness are too strong to make him feel like the bad guy.

Instead, he drowns his shame in junk food, now that he can.

  
  


The next morning comes back soon enough. Before Jiwon wakes up, Jinhwan goes back to the roof to see if anything’s changed. It hasn’t.

When Jinhwan gets back downstairs, Jiwon is awake and eating cereal and drinking chocolate milk. Jiwon doesn’t even look up at him, and Jinhwan doesn’t greet him good morning.

Hours later of Jinhwan playing games on his phone, Jiwon finally speaks. “Have you checked outside?”

Jinhwan looks at him and answers. “Yeah, nothing’s changed.”

They quickly go back to silence.

  
  


That night Jinhwan makes what must be the worst decision of his life.

Jiwon is fast asleep, Jinhwan checked.

Silently, Jinhwan gathers flashlights, water bottles, nonperishable foods, a shitload of deodorant and perfumes, tools, anything that can be used as a weapon and packs it all in backpacks —t he cart he wanted to get is too big for the shutter’s door.

His last step is to check the street from the roof again. It’s too dark to see as clearly as he’d like to, but he can make out the movement of the shadows well enough to tell it’s still swarming with undeads.

But Jinhwan can’t sit around anymore. He needs his family, he needs to be safe, and if the undead outside don’t kill him, then something else will. Might as well fight his way out. He’s a fast runner.

The thought that he’s leaving Jiwon without a way to safety is loud in the back of his mind, but it’s too easy to ignore that when he thinks about seeing his family again. It’s definitely ironic, how easily he accused Jiwon of lacking humanity. Look at him now.

He takes one last glance to check again what path he’s going to take to escape, then turns around and goes back inside the store.

He has enough of a heart to leave a note for Jiwon, that only says, ‘ _ Sorry. I hope you get out alive _ .’

Before stepping outside he sprays himself with a disgusting mix and amount of deodorant and perfume that leaves him coughing into his hands, aware if he’s too loud he’ll wake Jiwon up.

Once every step of his plan is completed, he hangs one bag from his front and two on his back, the only way he can make sure everything fits.

Getting the door open without waking up Jiwon is a challenge, but he’s opened and closed the store enough times he has an idea on how to do it silently.

The smell of the undead is still revolting, even though most of what he smells is himself.

He doesn’t lock the door behind him, but he does close it to make sure they can’t get to Jiwon, and then he walks, slowly, carefully, one step at a time.

Jinhwan flashes the light around, watching as the undead roam around merely feet away from him; he keeps walking a couple more feet, sticking as closely to the wall as possible.

But the next second he’s on the floor — he didn’t see a garbage bag lying on the ground and he tripped. The flashlight falls to the ground, too far away from reach and pointing in the wrong direction.

Jinhwan cannot see.

Panic sets in as he gets back up, trying to discern zombies from the blackness, but he finds he can’t tell them apart, his eyes not yet adjusted to the dark. His arms reach forward on reflex, trying to get some space in between himself and the undead, but it’s too late, and Jinhwan can tell just by the noise they make that they’re closing in, fast.

Jinhwan isn’t sure where to go, back or forward, when something grabs him from behind.

Jinhwan shouts, the overwhelming smell of dead flesh overpowering all his senses. He tries to fight back, but the strength of the thing is too great, and he stumbles, getting pushed back by the neck.

Jinhwan curses his own stupidity, but he finds death to feel more welcoming than he thought. He’s ready to follow the light when he hears a loud noise behind him, and the hands that were grabbing him so strongly let loose.

“You idiot!” Jinhwan hears.

It’s Jiwon.

Oh, God bless him, is Jinhwan’s only thought as he’s grabbed by human hands and guided backwards through the dark and inside the store.

Jiwon closes the door as Jinhwan falls on the floor, finally safe.

“What the fuck where you thinking!?” Jiwon yells.

Jinhwan doesn’t get up from the floor. He’s almost in tears, the shock leaving him without words, still trying to process what happened and catching up to the fact he’s not dead.

Jiwon just stares at him, waiting for an answer.

“Why did you go after me?” Jinhwan speaks so softly Jiwon can barely hear him, even in the quietness of the store.

“Are you kidding me?” Jiwon almost screams, frustration making him shake. “I saved your life, you ungrateful piece of shit.”

“Well, I didn’t ask you to. I didn’t want you to.”

“Fuck!” Jiwon screams at him, just to get some of the anger out. He kneels next to Jinhwan, grabs him by the shoulders and shakes him violently. “You don’t get to do that,” he says once Jinhwan looks up at him. “You don’t get to give up, you don't get to give in. You have something to fight for. The least you can do is do your absolute best to stay alive so you can get back to your parents.”

Jinhwan is crying now, partially because of fear and partially because this is a nightmare come to life and Jinhwan doesn’t know how to cope.

A few minutes of silence go by. Jinhwan doesn’t move from the floor, but Jiwon does get up to get him a bottle of water.

As Jinhwan sips on it, he asks, “How did you notice I was gone?”

“I didn’t. The noise woke me up, I noticed the door wasn’t locked. If it hadn’t been for the flashlight I wouldn't have been able to find you in the dark.”

Jinhwan doesn’t answer, and they stay in silence for a while longer until Jiwon speaks again. “Are you gonna do something stupid again or can I go back to sleep?”

Jinhwan shrugs. Jiwon rolls his eyes and goes back to his makeshift bed on the floor.

Jinhwan wants to be thankful he’s still alive – that Jiwon saved him – but what used to be a dark corner in his brain is now a whole room, and the only thing Jinhwan can think is that he doesn’t want to live in a world where his parents are gone, and every second away from them is a second closer to them dying.

If he won’t die, then he needs to get to them soon.

Jinhwan hates Jiwon for taking both options away from him.

  
  


The next day is tense and uncomfortable. Jinhwan doesn’t speak because he’s pretty sure if he does it’ll just end up in a fight.

They keep to each other. Jiwon listens to music, Jinhwan plays games on his phone. Jiwon does push-ups, Jinhwan grabs a notebook and a pen and starts a diary. Jiwon naps, Jinhwan plays catch with the wall.

The silence is thick between them.

A couple hours later, Jinhwan finally speaks. “I’m going to check outside,” he says, not waiting for a response as he goes to the backroom and takes the stairs up to the roof.

The view hasn’t changed much, and Jinhwan feels like he’s going crazy. The fear and worry intensify to the point where he ends up in tears and needs to put some distance in between himself and the edge, walking backwards and shaking. He trips and falls on his ass, and he gives himself five minutes to lose it alone and safe on the roof.

“Any good news?” Jiwon asks him once Jinhwan comes back.

Jinhwan just shakes his head.

  
  


The next morning Jiwon breaks the silence.

“I’m going to the roof, wanna come?”

“No.”

After that, Jiwon keeps trying to make conversation to soften the mood. Jinhwan doesn’t care for it.

After writing many of his thoughts down, Jinhwan finds himself stuck in contradictions. He’s worried about his family, about himself, about whatever this might mean for the future. However, he’s also realized he cares for Jiwon more than he originally thought, even more than he would if he was stuck in the apocalypse with someone else. He’s also still frustrated and angry at him, even if he knows Jiwon did the right thing.

It all comes back to Jinhwan wanting to get to his family, and Jiwon forcing him to put his life first.

He just can’t let go.

He wants his relationship with Jiwon to improve, he wants to be able to lean on him and have Jiwon lean on him too when he needs him. He wants to have someone to keep him warm at night, to give him a reason to smile in the morning. Even if it’s only the loneliness of the end of the world talking, that’s how he feels.

But no matter how badly he wishes for that, he won’t let either of them have it. They have their plates full enough with surviving to add any type of connection between them.

Jinhwan feels both tenderness and rage towards Jiwon.

If he has to choose, he’ll choose the option that doesn’t leave him exposed and prone to injury. He chooses keeping his heart locked up, chooses what will make getting back to his family alive a priority. He doesn’t have the luxury to make Jiwon more important than absolutely necessary.

And if Jinhwan has to pick up more fights to stop himself from giving in to love, then so be it.

  
  


Later that day, Jiwon is reading a gossip magazine when he says, “Man, I bet rich people had it way easier than us.” Jinhwan doesn’t answer. “Where do you think the people still alive went?”

“Who gives a fuck?” Jinhwan replies. “You’re worrying about the wrong thing.”

The whiplash of having his old own words thrown back at him ignites something inside of Jiwon. “Really? You’re gonna be that petty?”

“Petty?” Jinhwan scoffs. “You have no empathy whatsoever but I’m in the wrong for calling you out for it?”

“I’m sorry for trying to stay alive,” Jiwon answers sarcastically. “Sorry for putting our lives first. Why do you even care what I think?”

“Because I’m stuck with you!” Jinhwan yells, anger and annoyance building up inside him. “I just wanna get to my family, if I even can, and you fucked that up.”

“I should’ve let them eat you,” Jiwon sneers. 

Jinhwan throws a punch. He won’t allow himself to feel hurt.

Jiwon almost falls on the ground, then gets up and tackles him by the stomach, and both of them hit the floor, kicking and screaming.

Jiwon tries to grab Jinhwan’s arms to get him to stop throwing punches, but Jinhwan moves too fast.

Jinhwan gets a hold of Jiwon’s short hair and pulls. “I didn’t ask for a savior.”

“Fuck you,” Jiwon says before he spits in Jinhwan’s face. Jinhwan’s so taken aback he doesn’t know how to react. Jiwon shoves him and gets up, walking away. “Fuck you!” he finally yells.

Jiwon proceeds to grab his bags and heads for the door.

Jinhwan gets up, feeling the side of his ribs where Jiwon landed a hit, starting to panic. “Where are you going?” Jiwon doesn’t reply. Jinhwan sighs and curses under his breath, “Jesus fucking Chirst.” Jinhwan is left with no option but to run after Jiwon, who is working the door open. “Jiwon! Where are you going? You have nowhere to go!”

“It’s not like I have anywhere if I stay with you!”

Jinhwan’s heart shatters. It’s taken him all this time to realize he’s been the selfish one.

He finally catches up to Jiwon and grabs him by the arm, turning him around to scream in his face, “You will! You have me and you’ll have my family and you’ll have somewhere new to call home.”

Jiwon’s voice breaks when he says, “My family is dead, and my home is no more.”

He turns to leave again but Jinhwan stops him once again “Jiwon,” he tries. Jiwon just stares at the ground. “Look at me... look at me.” Reluctantly, Jiwon does. “I promise you don’t have to be alone. Just let me... let me fix us, Jiwon.”

In a split second the air around them becomes heavy. Jinhwan feels like he’s choking on nothing.

Jiwon closes the distance between them and softly presses his lips against Jinhwan’s.

A lot of things become clear in that moment, like the worry Jinhwan has been masking with anger, how he’s been aiming his frustration at Jiwon to avoid coming to terms with reality. Jinhwan now understands that even if Jiwon hadn’t stopped him from leaving, he wouldn’t have gotten far before realizing he could never leave Jiwon behind.

Now that they’re touching Jinhwan never wants to let go.

Jinhwan grabs him by the nape and pulls Jiwon closer, deepening the kiss as he licks Jiwon’s lower lip.

Jiwon moans, sneaking his tongue inside Jinhwan’s mouth. It’s the best kiss Jinhwan has ever had.

Things become hotter all of a sudden, and Jinhwan is pulling Jiwon’s shirt up and over his head before he does the same with his own.

Jiwon quickly moves down, mouthing at his neck, pushing Jinhwan by his shoulder until they’re on the floor and Jiwon is lying on top of him. Jiwon keeps going until he reaches Jinhwan’s nipple, sucking on it and biting softly.

Jinhwan moans at the light pain. “You’re not even gonna buy me dinner first?”

Jiwon lifts his head just to answer, “If you shut up I’ll suck you off.”

“Deal,” Jinhwan is quick to say.

So Jiwon goes on, down his body, leaving kisses and kitten licks as he moves towards his sweatpants– being locked up in the middle of the apocalypse means Jinhwan took the liberty to wear comfortable clothes–clothes that make his hard on both obvious and accessible to Jiwon.

Jiwon is not a foreplay kind of guy. He sticks his hand down Jinhwan’s pants to find him not wearing underwear. Jiwon almost gasps. “Commando? That’s hot,” he smirks.

Jinhwan starts mumbling. “I mean, I was going to wear some but then I thought, do I really–”

“Shut up,” Jiwon interrupts him, lowering Jinhwan’s pants enough to get his dick out. “God, you suck at dirty talk.”

“I wasn’t really trying–” Jiwon mouths at his balls to make him stop. “ _ Fuck– _ Okay, that’s better.”

Jiwon licks up his shaft and wraps his mouth around Jinhwan’s head, who shudders under him. Jiwon swallows before taking more of him into his mouth.

“Fuck,” Jinhwan says again, his legs already shaking.

Jiwon chuckles around him, a weird sensation for Jinhwan, but Jiwon lets him go to say, “You’re pretty easy.”

Jinhwan frowns, but Jiwon can’t see him. “I’m not. I’m sensitive.”

Jiwon straight up laughs. “Same thing.”

Before Jinhwan can add anything, Jiwon goes back to sucking on the head of his dick, hand now stroking him quickly as Jinhwan pants and moans.

Jinhwan goes a step further and grabs Jiwon’s hair, faintly remembering that the last time he did so he was trying to beat the shit out of him. Jiwon hums in pleasure around him. “So, you’re into a little bit of pain,” Jinhwan concludes.

Jiwon sits up to look into Jinhwan’s eyes and say, “You’re gonna be the one in pain if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

Jinhwan rolls his eyes. “Boring.”

Jiwon takes personal offense at that. He decides the best revenge is some good head, so he swallows Jinhwan back again, as far as he can without gagging, and sucks around him, tongue stroking his shaft. It takes him a couple tries of swallowing and moving back and forth, but he finally manages to bottom out, nose buried in Jinhwan’s pubes.

Jinhwan is doing his absolute best not to thrust up. “Can I fuck your mouth?” he asks. “Please,  _ please _ .”

Jiwon makes a noise that Jinhwan understands as a yes. Jinhwan sits up to take his pants off, Jiwon helping him and throwing them to the side.

When Jinhwan lies back down Jiwon begins to pump Jinhwan’s length on his hand, sucking on the head before swallowing him whole again.

Jinhwan doesn’t waste a second before starting to fuck Jiwon’s mouth, having the slight suspicion Jiwon is a little bit into being used.

Jiwon gags and slurps and moans around Jinhwan, getting even louder when Jinhwan pulls at his hair.

Jinhwan wants to tease him, rile him up, but Jiwon has made it clear if Jinhwan does it’s over. So he keeps quiet, letting the pleasure overwhelm him until tears are pooling in his eyes, his lower back starting to hurt with the strength of his thrusts.

“I’m gonna cum,” Jinhwan says, voice shaking.

Jiwon hums around him, making the heat spike in Jinhwan’s lower belly. All Jiwon needs to do is pull back a little and graze Jinhwan with his teeth to trip him over the edge.

Jinhwan gets a hold of Jiwon’s head with both hands and pushes him back down, making him choke as Jinhwan shoots down his throat. Jiwon gags, not able to swallow all of it, cum spilling down his chin.

Jinhwan stares at the ceiling as he comes down from the high, breathing deeply, aftershocks still making him shiver a couple of times.

“What about me?” Jiwon asks, hovering on top of Jinhwan, his hands on either side of Jinhwan’s head to hold him up.

Jinhwan smiles loopily. “I’ll get you off alright,” he smirks. Jinhwan grabs Jiwon by the hips and pushes him down so Jiwon’s crotch is flush against his thigh. “Ride me.”

It’s a bold statement, and Jinhwan can only hope he’s read Jiwon well enough to know he’ll be into it and won’t spit in his face and walk away.

The answer comes obvious enough when Jiwon begins to grind against Jinhwan’s thigh, needy, high pitched sounds coming out of his mouth as he does. Jinhwan can only hold him tighter and help Jiwon move against him.

Instead, he encourages him. “C,mon, c’mon.”

Jinhwan does his best to push Jiwon down and his thigh up with more force, Jiwon now letting out quiet, soft noises that Jinhwan wouldn’t catch if the place wasn’t so silent.

Jinhwan lets his hand trace over Jiwon’s abs, feeling them flex as Jiwon thrusts, and then sneaks it up further up, fingers pinching a nipple. And Jiwon comes, almost unnoticeably, burying his face in Jinhwan’s neck as he rides the last of it.

They stay still for a beat, both of them catching their breath until Jiwon finally pulls away and lies on his back next to Jinhwan.

“Well–” Jinhwan tries.

“Not a word,” Jiwon says, and Jinhwan can’t do anything but shut up.

  
  


The next days go by silently, and Jinhwan is itching to say something, anything, to have a clearer idea of where they stand now. Was it just sex to Jiwon? Because it definitely was not for Jinhwan.

But Jiwon made the first step, and that has to mean something. Jinhwan just isn’t sure what that something is.

  
  


The only reason Jinhwan hasn’t completely lost track of time is thanks to the diary he’s been writing in. Most days just say ‘ate ice cream,’ ‘the street is still crowded with zombies,’ ‘I’m bored and I want to see my family,’ ‘Jiwon’s eyes are so pretty, I want to make him smile all the time,’ ‘I never thought I’d eat chocolate for lunch but that’s how life is now, I guess,’ and other mundane things.

He refuses to acknowledge the bits about Jiwon as anything more than random, unimportant thoughts.

They still haven’t talked about what happened, and Jinhwan doubts they will any time soon. He wants to hint at it, but the possibility of rejection weighs heavy in the back of his mind.

Their relationship, friendship, whatever it is hasn’t changed. Everything is the same. It drives Jinhwan crazy.

Later that day, after Jinhwan is done logging his entry on his diary, Jiwon walks up to him and drops a bag of marshmallows on his lap, holding another one in his hand along with a lighter.

“What?” Jinhwan asks. He almost said thank you, but he realized that he doesn’t know what he’d be thanking Jiwon for.

“Campfire,” is the only thing he says. “Well, without the fire and the camping and the outside.” Jinhwan just stares, still confused. “We’re burning marshmallows.”

“Oh,” Jinhwan says for lack of a better thing.

Jiwon sits down next to him and opens his bag, then lights up one of the sweets on fire before taking a bite. He chews in silence, then looks at Jinhwan like he’s prompting him on to do the same.

Jinhwan chuckles. It feels childish, almost naive, to do this in their current situation, but it’s not like they have better things to do.

“So,” Jiwon starts. “Have any scary stories to tell?”

Jinhwan thinks fast. “Yes. There was this boy,” he says, and Jiwon looks uncharacteristically interested. “Who got stuck in a grocery store with an asshole in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.”

Jiwon rolls his eyes. “Man, you almost got me there.” Jinhwan can’t help but laugh.

“You totally fell for it.”

“Well, yeah,” Jiwon explains himself. “I trusted you.”

Jinhwan can’t help but read too much into that. He’s nowhere near ready to do anything about it though.

He takes the lighter from Jiwon’s hand and lights up the candy, distracting himself as he watches the fire consume it. Most of his mind is still occupied with Jiwon’s words, though, and he doesn’t realize he’s still holding a flame in his hand until it reaches the fingers he’s using to hold the marshmallow.

“Shit!” he curses, letting everything he’s holding on his hands drop to the floor.

Instinctively he brings his burnt finger to his mouth, then rapidly waving it around to let the air cool it down.

“Are you okay?” Jiwon asks, trying to grab Jinhwan’s hand. It’s red and swollen already, and Jiwon blows on it to help with the pain. “Hold on a second. I’ll get something from the fridge.”

Jinhwan keeps moving his hand around until Jiwon comes back with a pack of frozen peas. “Here,” he says as he hands it to Jinhwan, who presses his finger against it. “God, you’re such a kid,” Jiwon laughs. Jinhwan kind of deserves it this time.

“I didn’t even get to eat one,” Jinhwan says.

Jiwon lights one up for him and extends it to his mouth. “Open up.”

Jinhwan frowns. “I’m not a baby.”

Jiwon rolls his eyes. “And yet you burnt yourself with a lighter. Just eat the damn thing.”

Jinhwan thinks Jiwon will let go as soon as he bites the marshmallow, but instead he keeps his fingers in place, to the point where Jinhwan has to almost suck on his fingers to eat the whole thing.

There’s something so intimate about the motion that Jinhwan is scared Jiwon will pull away in disgust, but none of that happens. Jiwon keeps feeding him burnt marshmallows, eating some of them, until both bags are empty.

Jinhwan can’t be sure of the time, but he suspects it must be night already, so when Jiwon gets up and says, “I’m going to bed,” Jinhwan doesn’t question it.

  
  


After so many days Jinhwan has come up with a list of daily tasks. It can barely be called a routine, but it’s kept him sane enough so far.

He has milk chocolate for breakfast, because they can’t brew coffee, along with whatever he feels like eating. Then he goes up to the roof to check on the zombie situation, and spends the rest of the day entertaining himself with whatever he can find.

He takes a shower every day, even though the lack of an actual bathroom makes the ordeal incredibly annoying and tiring, but it helps him feel human still.

Jiwon and Jinhwan came to an agreement to keep the place decent enough to live in. Jinhwan cleans aisles 1 to 4, and Jiwon cleans 5 to 8, and they take turns cleaning the bathroom.

It’s almost domestic, but Jinhwan tries not to think about it. He knows he won’t be able to escape if he falls into that rabbit hole.

Instead, he gets ready to complete the most important task.

Jinhwan climbs up the stairs to the roof like any other day, expecting nothing to have changed overnight.

Less than a minute later Jinhwan is running back down the stairs like he’s being chased.

While the streets aren’t empty, there’s barely any zombies around anymore, no more than half a dozen.

“Jiwon!” he screams.

Jiwon runs towards him as soon as Jinhwan gets to the ground floor. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asks, frantic.

Jinhwan’s big smile calms him down instantly. “They’re almost gone,” he says.

“Shit,” Jiwon says, relief showing in his face. “Really?”

“Yeah. We should be able to leave tomorrow.”

They high five, and Jinhwan wonders when exactly was it that they left their contempt and annoyance with each other in the past.

  
  


Later that day Jinhwan wakes up from a four hour nap disoriented and confused, much like how he wakes up any other day lately. He gets up from his makeshift bed, a pile of blankets and a bag as a pillow, and notices he can’t find Jiwon at first glance.

After walking by a couple aisles Jinhwan finds Jiwon staring at one of the fridges that holds the beers and some of the alcoholic sugary drinks Jinhwan loves.

“What’s up?” Jinhwan asks.

Jiwon turns to look at him with a twinkle in his eye. “Should we?”

“Should we what?”

Jiwon doesn’t bother answering. He opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of beer. “What do you want?”

Oh.  _ Oh _ . That sounds fun. Also, it’s the end of the world and their last night in the safety of the grocery store. Might as well get trashed.

Jinhwan lightly pushes Jiwon out of the way and grabs a Mojito flavored drink. “I’m choosing my poison for the next four hours,” he says, and Jiwon smiles.

They sit down against a wall, Jinhwan taking out his phone and playing one of the playlist he’s specifically curated for parties. It’s a party for two, after all.

Jiwon smirks. “You’ve come prepared, I see.”

“I’m always prepped,” Jinhwan says, and neither of them misses the innuendo.

Jiwon doesn’t play along though, he just chugs a couple gulps of the best beer the store has to offer and nods his head to the music playing. Jinhwan is pretty sure Jiwon isn’t into the song, but he’s not about to confront Jiwon about anything, especially if it has to do with whatever is happening between them.

Jinhwan downs half the bottle before either of them speaks again.

Strangely, it’s Jiwon the first to talk. He’s on his third beer and it shows in the slur of his words. “When I was in high school,” he starts. “I liked this girl... Her name was Jasmine. I had never liked anyone as much as I liked her, and I had no idea how to get close to her without making it painfully obvious.” 

Jiwon takes another sip. Jinhwan just listens. 

“Jiun– my brother – he figured it out without me needing to say anything. He told me I should pay attention to what she liked to start up a conversation. He told me how important it is to listen to the other person, whatever my intentions were. Now that I think about it, he’s the one that taught me how to get close to other people. I didn’t realize how important that lesson was until later on.” Jiwon drinks more before continuing. “And even though I know he knew, I never got to thank him for that.”

Jinhwan stays silent, thinking about what to say next. “If you know he knew, then that’s enough.” When Jiwon doesn’t add anything, Jinhwan decides to share himself. “My sister is–  _ was _ a baker. She baked a cake for my birthday when I was a kid, and my friends liked it so much their parents started buying cakes from her, and eventually she opened up a bakery sort of place.” Jinhwan can feel his eyes getting wet and his throat closing up, so he downs half the bottle in his hand in one go.

“Don’t get too fucked up,” Jiwon tells him.

“Or what?”

Jiwon thinks for a second. “Okay, touché.”

“I helped her bake the first cookies she sold at the coffee shop,” Jinhwan continues. “She used me as her taste tester, and I would get annoyed since she asked me for help all the time. It was a privilege and I didn’t know it.”

It feels like a ribbon being untied, to share something he’s always held close to his heart, never having told anyone else.

Jiwon smiles. “It wouldn’t be a proper end of the world if we didn’t at least have a couple regrets.”

“This sucks,” Jinhwan sighs, Jiwon nods.

There’s a heavy silence, Jinhwan notices, but he’s not sure why until Jiwon speaks again. “I’m glad I’m not alone.”

That’s something Jinhwan can relate to. He doesn’t miss the hidden meaning,  _ I’m glad I’m with you _ .

Jinhwan doesn’t answer, but he knows Jiwon doesn’t need him to.

  
  


The nerves and anticipation wake Jinhwan up way earlier than usual. He’s only slept five hours, and he can already feel the uncomfortable feeling of sleep deprivation setting in. But there’s no way he’s going back to sleep.

He gets up quietly, not wanting to disturb Jiwon sleeping a couple feet away from him.

They’ve organized everything they needed to last night. They have two carts filled with backpacks, carrying supplies inside. It’s more than they’ll need to make it to the sanctuary, but neither of them wants to risk it.

Jinhwan wonders if by doing so they’re taking away supplies for people that might come looking after them, but their survival comes before their solidarity.

Jinhwan double checks the bags, checking the list he wrote down on his diary to make sure they’re not missing anything. He also walks around the store one last time, in case he sees anything he wants to bring with them last minute.

When everything is as perfect as it can be, Jinhwan wakes Jiwon up.

Before anything else, Jinhwan opens the door a fraction to check the outside is still safe. There’s even less undead around that there were yesterday.

“We’re good,” Jinhwan states.

Jiwon is spraying himself with a ridiculous but necessary amount of deodorant, all over. He even uses perfume for no reason, and Jinhwan rolls his eyes.

“Your turn,” Jiwon says, and he grabs the discarded can of spray to throw it at Jinhwan, who catches it mid-air and begins to shower himself with it, too.

Everything is ready for them to leave, but the reality hits them on the face too late, and they just stare at the closed door, unmoving.

“I–” Jinhwan tries, but nothing else comes out.

The fear, dread, trauma of what awaits outside leaves them frozen in place.

Jinhwan gives himself a second before walking towards the shutters and working them open. They both stare as they slowly lift, finally giving them the full view of the street.

Jiwon already grabbed his cart, and Jinhwan takes the other one, ready to lead the way.

Before he gets too far, Jiwon grabs Jinhwan’s arm and pushes him towards himself.

The kiss is chaste, soft, tender, exactly the opposite of how they’re feeling, but Jinhwan melts into it nonetheless. “Don’t die,” Jiwon says.

“Don’t die,” Jinhwan says back.

And off they go.

  
  


“Do you know how to drive?” Jinhwan asks as they walk down the street.

Covering their scent with deodorant did the trick perfectly. They didn’t need to run away from any zombies, even though they did it anyway because it’s scary as fuck.

“Yeah, why?”

“We need to find a car,” Jinhwan says.

“What?”

Jinhwan looks at him. “Did you think we were gonna walk all the way?”

“I–” Jiwon tries. “I assumed so, since you never said anything about a car.”

“I was going to, but you interrupted me,” Jinhwan says, annoyed. “Can you drive or not? It’ll take around a day to get to the beach, we should take turns. Then it’s a couple hours on boat.”

Jiwon nods. “I can drive.”

“Now we just need a car.”

  
  


They find an empty white minivan a couple of blocks ahead.

“We can load the bags in the trunk,” Jinhwan says. “We won’t need the carts anymore.”

“How are you gonna start it, though?”

Jinhwan is already heading towards the front seat window, wrapping a hoodie around his hand and smashing the window open to unlock the car from inside. “My uncle is– was a mechanic. He taught me some stuff.”

“Like how to steal cars?” Jiwon asks.

Jinhwan only smirks. “Get in, asshole.”

  
  


At one point Jinhwan tries to turn the radio on before he’s met with static and remembers the situation they’re in. “Right,” he says. Jiwon chuckles next to him.

“I have music on my phone,” Jiwon offers.

“Nah. Let’s not waste the battery if we can help it.”

Jiwon argues, “It’s not a waste of battery to musicalize a roadtrip.”

Jinhwan rolls his eyes. “Roadtrip?”

Jinhwan’s phone rings.

“Fuck,” Jiwon says, getting startled by the sudden noise.

Jinhwan gasps. “That’s my mom! That’s my mom’s ringtone, answer it.”

Jiwon does. “Hi? Hi. I’m a friend of Jinhwan’s.” Jinhwan does not miss the use of the word friend. “I’m with him, we’re safe.” He pauses for a second. “Yes, we’re on our way there, we found a van... Yes, sure,” he finally says as he passes the phone to Jinhwan.

At least they don’t have to worry about getting a ticket for being on the phone while driving.

“Mom?” Jinhwan is in tears already. “Yes, we’re okay. We’re going. I know the way. We’ll be there tomorrow, maybe the day after. Okay, okay. I love you. I love you. Wait for us, we’re going. Love you, see you soon.”

With that, Jinhwan hangs up. He can’t help but sigh in relief. “We’re going to make it,” Jinhwan states. Jiwon doesn’t oppose him. 

  
  


On Jiwon’s turn behind the wheel, he likes to run over the undead they find in their way.

“You’re gonna crash the van, you idiot!” Jinhwan tells him, but Jiwon only chuckles as he hits another one.

“Fuckin’ assholes.”

Eventually Jinhwan joins in the fun. “It’s like a videogame.”

“GTA: Zombie Apocalypse,” Jiwon jokes.

  
  


They don’t make any stops. It takes them less time than Jinhwan thought it would, mostly because he forgot traffic doesn’t exist anymore.

At some point it turned into daytime, and Jinhwan is giving Jiwon the last directions before they reach the beach.

“Make a turn here,” Jinhwan signals. “Then keep going straight, and we’ll be at the beach.”

They’ve barely encountered any undeads in the last couple miles, so neither of them are expecting it when the beach comes into view and it’s full of them.

“Shit,” Jiwon says, slowing down.

Jinhwan pulls at his hair in frustration. “Fuck.”

“What now?” Jiwon asks as he stops the van.

“I–” Jinhwan tries. “I don’t know. This is the only way I know to get to the island. And we need at least a couple minutes to prepare a boat.”

“We need a plan,” Jiwon says. And so, they get on planning.

“First of all, lots of deodorant,” Jinhwan starts. “Do you know how to get the boat ready?”

“No clue.”

“Then leave that to me.”

Jiwon stays quiet for a second. “I’ll distract them. Get all the bags on the boat and put it in the water. Yell at me when you’re done. I’ll swim to you.”

Jinhwan stares. “Are you crazy? There’s dozens of them, they’ll eat you.”

“We don’t have food that we can use as bait,” Jiwon explains. “Scent is the only weapon we have against them. We don’t have guns, there’s too many of them to kill with baseball bats. Perfume and deodorant aren’t gonna work if we get too close, and we need to get them away from the boats if we want to have a chance.”

Jinhwan just looks at him, open mouthed. “I hate this.”

“It’s okay.” Jiwon smiles, looking almost sad. “You have to promise me something.”

Jinhwan knows where he’s going. “No. Absolutely not. I’m not leaving you behind. I don’t care.”

Instead of arguing, Jiwon gets a hold of Jinhwan’s shirt and pulls him towards himself, smashing their lips together, licking at Jinhwan’s bottom lip, then sneaking his tongue inside, turning it into a deep kiss.

Jinhwan feels it on his toes. He wraps his hand around Jiwon’s nape and pulls him even closer. “If you die on me I’m gonna be so fucking pissed,” Jinhwan says as they draw apart.

“If they get me and you come back for me I’ll kill you myself,” Jiwon says back. “If–”

“No if’s.”

Jiwon rolls his eyes. “Fine. When we both get out of this, go on a date with me.”

Jinhwan stares for a second, then a smile spreads over his entire face. “We won’t have anywhere we can go for a date,” Jinhwan chuckles, almost blushing.

“We’ll figure something out.” Jiwon kisses him again. “Alright. Let’s do this.”

Jiwon gets out of the van first. He walks towards the crowd, baseball bat in hand for lack of a better weapon, until he’s close enough that the deodorant he put on loses its magic. Slowly, the zombies turn their heads, smelling the air, and start walking towards Jiwon.

Not a minute goes by before they realize there’s fresh meat in front of them. They start running, and so does Jiwon.

They’re fast, for a bunch of half-rotten corpses, and Jiwon has to run along the shore at full speed earlier on than he thought. He figured he’d manage to get some distance between them, but the assholes didn’t wait a beat, and now they’re almost on Jiwon’s heels.

Jiwon keeps running, but he risks turning his head around every now and then to see how Jinhwan is doing. He’s already in a boat, but it’s nowhere close to the water yet.

Jiwon needs to think fast. If he keeps running straight, he won’t be able to go back the same way without running into the undead. He changes tactics, and runs away from the water and into a hill, until he hits the main road where they came from and turns again towards Jinhwan, running along the road.

He’s too far away to hear Jinhwan yell at him, and there’s a line of trees separating him from the beach, so he can’t see him either. But the zombies seem to have gotten confused, only a couple of them managing to catch up to him.

He runs until he sees their van in the distance. He’s so close, just a little more. He reaches the bifurcation and turns. And runs into one of them.

Jiwon’s reflexes are quick enough that he manages to block the bite with the baseball bat, but then its teeth get stuck in it. Jiwon can’t pull away without bringing the zombie along, so he’s forced to let go of the only weapon he has.

“Shit,” Jiwon curses, running away towards the beach again. “Shit, shit.” He can see Jinhwan on the boat already, deep into the water.

“Jiwon!” Jinhwan yells. “Behind you!”

Jiwon doesn’t dare turn around. He runs even faster, powered by adrenaline and fear alone, and he splashes around in the water until it’s deep enough he has to swim the distance left to reach the boat, Jinhwan offering him a hand as he all but lifts Jiwon up and into it.

“Christ,” Jinhwan says. “You okay? Did you get bitten?”

Jiwon shakes his head, unable to speak with how bad he’s hyperventilating.

Jinhwan wants to kiss him, feel him against his skin, make sure he’s alive and well and it’s not just his imagination, but Jiwon needs the air. Instead, Jinhwan touches their foreheads together, hand caressing Jiwon’s wet hair.

The undeads are left on the shore, walking around aimlessly now that their food disappeared.

“We’re almost there,” Jinhwan tells him. “We’re gonna be okay.”

  
  


Slowly, Jiwon gathers himself. It takes him half an hour to speak again.

“God,” he says from behind Jinhwan, and rests his forehead on his shoulder as Jinhwan rows.

As soon as Jinhwan feels Jiwon against him, he drops the paddles and turns around to embrace him. “That was so fucking scary,” he says, voice muffled by Jiwon’s neck where Jinhwan is burying his face.

“Tell me about it,” Jiwon tries to chuckle, but it sounds more like he’s choking. “Do you need me to row?”

Jinhwan lets go and grabs the paddles again. “No, it’s okay. I can go for a little longer. But later, yeah.”

Jiwon nods, and Jinhwan goes back to taking them towards safety.

  
  


Against all common sense, Jiwon falls asleep. He’s woken up an hour later by Jinhwan.

“Rise and shine,” he tells him as he shakes his shoulder.

Jiwon wonders how he even managed to sleep after such a scare. It’s dangerous to admit being near Jinhwan makes him feel safe.

Jiwon sits up, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. “Sorry. Where are we?”

“Close, but there’s still around a half hour before we make it. Can you take over? My arms are numb.”

“Yes. Yes, of course. I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“No problem,” Jinhwan says, understanding as always. He points at the distance, they can already the island. “Just row in that direction.”

Jiwon takes over after drinking half a bottle of water and some chips. Jinhwan isn’t going to sleep, though he looks incredibly tired, but he does the same and eats something before lying down in the small space they have.

Jiwon rows in silence and thinks about what awaits them. His family is dead. They’re on their way to a safe place, but Jiwon knows it won’t compare to the safety of his mom’s hugs, the reassurance of his dad, the comfort of his brother.

Minutes pass by before Jinhwan speaks. “So,” Jinhwan starts. “I know this is like, completely inappropriate given the current circumstances but... You look hot as shit when you’re rowing.”

Jiwon actually cracks up at that. “Thanks.” He’s truly thankful for the distraction.

“Nice guns,” Jinhwan adds.

Jiwon gets cocky and dares saying, “When this is over I’m gonna use them to pin you down.”

Jinhwan laughs. “Please, do.”

The flirting takes away a little of the dread, and Jiwon forces himself to think about a future with Jinhwan, his family, and all the survivors that are waiting for them at the island. It’s not ideal– it’s not his biological family, but it could be a family with time, and that’s more than most people have.

Jinhwan takes hold of the paddles once they’re closing in on the island.

The boat hasn’t even reached the shore when Jinhwan jumps in the water and begins half walking half swimming towards it. Jiwon almost yells at Jinhwan to wait for him, but he knows if roles were reversed he wouldn’t care enough to look back. They’re safe, anyway, Jinhwan doesn’t need to wait for him.

Jiwon can see the roof of a house among the palm trees and foliage, and that’s where he heads once the boat touches the sand.

When he catches up to Jinhwan, he’s hugging who Jiwon guesses is his mother.

“Hi,” Jiwon greets them when he’s close enough.

Jinhwan’s mom doesn’t let go of him and doesn’t answer for a solid minute. She switches to just holding Jinhwan’s hand as she finally looks at him. “Hi,” she says, tears running down her cheeks. Jinhwan is now hugging her by the waist. “Thank you for getting my boy home safely.”

Jiwon smiles. Envy and anger is burning hot in his stomach, but he’s enough of a good guy not to let it show. “No need to thank me, he would’ve done the same for me.”

They finally make it inside the house. It’s a huge, three stories building, and it’s swarming with people.

Jinhwan stops every couple minutes to greet someone. Friends, aunts, neighbors. It’s a little awkward for Jiwon, but he focuses on how he’ll eventually get to know everyone and he won’t feel as alone anymore.

Eventually they settle down. Jinhwan, Jiwon, and a couple more people help them get all the bags with supplies inside the house to get rationed. They also get a tour around the house, mostly for Jiwon since Jinhwan has already spent numerous weekends here.

By the time they get a breather it’s almost midnight, but neither of them mind staying up until late, basking in the feeling of safety, trying to wrap their heads around it. Jinhwan leads them to one of the empty rooms where they’ll live from now on, and they put away the few belongings and clothes they have.

Jiwon’s heart feels full and empty at the same time.

Jinhwan is hanging some clothes in the closet when Jiwon hugs him from behind, burying his nose in Jinhwan’s neck.

“You okay?” Jinhwan asks.

“I will be,” Jiwon confesses.

“Let’s go to sleep. We both need it.”

Jiwon doesn’t argue.

They change into their pajamas, which are really old t-shirts and sweatpants, and take turns showering in the bedroom’s private bathroom.

Jiwon is lying on his bed when Jinhwan comes out of the shower.

“Should we put our twin beds together and make it a double?” Jiwon asks without preamble. He hopes it’s not coming off as too forward. But Jiwon is good at reading people, and he has a feeling Jinhwan will be into it.

Just as he expected, Jinhwan smiles the biggest he’s seen him so far. “Yeah.”

They sleep cuddling each other, and Jiwon can’t remember the last time sleeping actually took the restlessness away.

  
  


Breakfast is a frenzy. The dining hall is full of people coming and going, serving coffee and pastries and whatever else.

“Everybody has jobs,” Jinhwan’s granddad explains to them. “But for now, just eat up and get comfortable. We’ll teach you everything you need to know once you settle down. You guys had a hell of a journey,” he says, looking at Jinhwan so fondly it makes Jiwon almost jealous.

  
  


They spend the rest of the day exploring the island, helping out wherever they can, and too soon night falls again.

Jinhwan crawls onto the bed, wrapping an arm around Jiwon’s waist from behind and burying his nose in the crook of his neck. “You smell like soap,” he says.

“Yeah, I found soap in the bathroom,” Jiwon jokes. He doesn’t need to look at Jinhwan to know he’s rolling his eyes.

“What if I get you all dirty again?”

Jiwon’s dick jumps at the comment. “Then you’ll have to lick me clean afterwards.”

It should be at least slightly gross, but Jinhwan plays into it like it’s nothing. “Wouldn’t mind doing that.”

Jinhwan kisses the back of his neck, reaching over and down Jiwon’s pants to grab his half-hard cock through the cotton. He gives it a couple slow pumps, feeling Jiwon spasm, dick getting harder.

“Am I allowed to dirty talk you now that you’ve stopped being an asshole?”

“Only if you’re any good at it,” Jiwon dares.

Jinhwan giggles. “Not fair, you caught me off guard the first time.”

Jiwon moans deep from his throat when Jinhwan finally sneaks his hand under the pants and properly jerks Jiwon off. “Then do your worst.”

Jinhwan takes it as the challenge it is. He turns Jiwon around to land him on his back. “Clothes off,” he says as he takes off his own. Jinhwan takes a second to finally drink Jiwon in. “God, you’re fucking hot.”

A smirk shows in Jiwon’s face. “I know.”

Jinhwan rolls his eyes. “The overconfidence is a bit of a turn off.”

Jiwon laughs. “No, it isn’t. That’s like, 80% of my personality. If you didn’t like it we wouldn’t be–”

Jinhwan shuts him up with a kiss. “I’ll show you what I’m capable of.” Jiwon shivers under him, and Jinhwan lets it inflate his ego a little.

“I’ve been wanting to eat you up for so long,” Jiwon confesses.

Jinhwan smirks. “Turn around.”

“What?”

Jinhwan doesn’t answer, just pulls on Jiwon’s shoulder until he does.

Jinhwan begins a slow trip from Jiwon’s neck, along his back, down to his tailbone, kissing every inch of skin and basking in the intimacy now that they can.

It’s definitely more passionate, more loving, even, and Jinhwan feels a warmth inside that isn’t coming from their bodies pressed together.

Jinhwan mouths at one of Jiwon’s asscheeks, making Jiwon whimper. “Jinhwan–”

“Can I?” Jinhwan asks, voice like honey.

“Fuck,  _ yes _ .”

Jinhwan spreads Jiwon apart, tongue shyly lapping at his entrance. Jiwon moans so loud he buries his face in the pillow fearing someone might hear.

Jinhwan holds him open, licking up his crack, then focusing on his hole again and shoving the tip of his tongue in.

“Oh, God, Jinhwan.”

Jinhwan giggles, breath tickling Jiwon and making him shudder. Jinhwan dives back in with a force, sucking on him and then thrusting his tongue in, fucking him slowly.

“You taste so fucking good,” Jinhwan says. “Could eat you out forever.”

Jiwon reaches behind himself, back slightly twisted, to grab at Jinhwan’s hair and push his face flush against himself. Jinhwan can’t breath properly, but he’s not about to stop. Jinhwan moans, knowing it’ll make Jiwon shake under him.

“Fuck,” Jiwon says, letting go of Jinhwan to clumsily sneak a hand towards his cock.

Jinhwan notices, and grabs his arm before he can get there. “No touching until I give you permission.”

Jiwon groans deep from his throat. “Ugh,  _ fuck _ , Jinani.”

Jinhwan feels his dick twitch at the nickname. “Let me...” Jinhwan starts, remembering the words he said before their first kiss. “Just let me,” he says softly.

Jiwon does.

Jinhwan licks him up, tongue flat, then pushes the tip of his tongue back in, then out, then in, and Jiwon is shuddering, panting, as Jinhwan fucks him with tongue alone.

Jinhwan barely stops for a second before Jiwon is whining. “‘Nani, please,” he says, voice high pitched and broken.

Instead of answering, Jinhwan leaves a chaste kiss on his tailbone and sits up. He spreads Jiwon up again, this time using his finger to tease at his entrance. Jiwon instantly pushes his hips back against Jinhwan’s hand and says, “Please.”

Jinhwan smirks, even though Jiwon can’t see it, and pushes the digit in.

“God,” Jiwon moans. “Jesus,  _ fuck _ .” It’s tight and hot and a little rough without lube. “There’s lube and condoms in one of the bags,” Jiwon says, panting, thinking the same as Jinhwan.

“You grabbed those from the store?”

“Yeah, yes.” Jiwon answers, obviously in a hurry. “Dude, go get it,  _ c’mon _ .”

“Be patient,” Jinhwan says but he doesn’t mean it, his own dick so hard it’s getting uncomfortable.

Contrary to his words, Jinhwan is quick to roam around the only bag Jiwon kept with him when they got to the island. It’s a shitty lube and cheap condoms, but Jinhwan isn’t about to complain.

He gets back in bed, pumping his dick a couple times until he can put the condom on. Then he squirts some lube in his hand, heating it up quickly, and finally spreading it over Jiwon’s hole.

Jiwon makes encouraging noises as Jinhwan preps him, two fingers in and out at an increased pace.

“I want–” Jiwon tries. “Fuck me like this.” Jinhwan’s dick jumps. “I like the stretch.”

“Fuck,” Jinhwan can’t help but moan. “I’m gonna fuck you into the mattress. Get on your knees.” Jiwon does, face down and ass up.

Jinhwan lubes himself up and presses the tip of his cock against Jiwon’s entrance. “Ready?” He asks one last time.

“Like yesterday,” Jiwon groans.

Jinhwan pushes in.

Tight is an understatement. Jiwon feels hot and overwhelming around Jinhwan, and Jinhwan needs to slow down his way inside in fear he’ll cum too soon. So he pauses for a second, gets his shit back together, and continues pushing in.

Jiwon is making the sweetest noises, way louder than he was at the store. Jinhwan is sure that means something, but he’s too deep in pleasure to give it more thought.

When Jinhwan bottoms out, he lets out a long sigh. Jiwon is grasping at the sheets, pushing his ass back onto Jinhwan, face buried in the pillow. Jinhwan grabs Jiwon with a strong grip on his hips and begins to move.

It’s painfully slow at first, but it’s the best Jinhwan can do without losing it. The room is filled with moans and groaning from both of them, to the point Jinhwan can’t tell who’s making what. His thrusts become faster, sharper, and Jinhwan leans forward a little to grab Jiwon by the hair, pulling hard, until his upper body is arching.

The whine that comes from Jiwon’s mouth Jinhwan will remember forever.

“You acted so rough, so tough, but you fuckin’ love this, don’t you?” Jinhwan says. Jiwon clenches around him. “You let me fuck your mouth like a toy last time.” Jiwon moans. “Because that’s what you  _ are _ .”

Without missing a beat, Jinhwan gets a hold of Jiwon’s cock and jerks him off, feeling his ass get tighter, his breathing becoming shallow, his entire body shaking. Jiwon comes and comes and comes, moaning so loudly there’s no doubt anybody nearby must have heard him. It kind of turns Jinhwan on even more.

Jiwon falls flat on the bed, unable to hold his own weight up, so Jinhwan pulls out. “Turn around,” he rushedly orders Jiwon. “And open your mouth.”

Jiwon uses the last of his energy to do so, and Jinhwan kneels on the bed, above Jiwon’s chest, jerking himself off with the head of his dick resting on Jiwon’s lower lips as he cums in his mouth. It drips down Jiwon’s chin, some of it landing on his eyelashes and cheeks, and it’s probably the best orgasm Jinhwan’s ever had.

Jinhwan throws himself on the bed next to Jiwon, panting.

A second later, he’s laughing.

Jiwon glances at him, lips spreading until he’s smiling and joining Jinhwan in the laugh. “I didn’t think you had it in you,” Jiwon says honestly.

“I just needed the right trigger,” Jinhwan answers. He takes a look at Jiwon and wraps a hand around his nape, pushing him into a kiss. He can taste himself, but Jinhwan doesn’t care.

They kiss slow, gentle, the opposite of how they fucked, and Jinhwan gets lost in it for a long minute.

“Okay,” Jiwon says, pulling apart. “I need a shower.”

Jinhwan giggles. “Yeah.”

It takes them a little longer, but they finally force each other to get up and into the bathroom.

“I’m never taking bathrooms for granted again,” Jinhwan says as he turns on the hot water.

Jiwon steps in first, and he extends a hand toward Jinhwan, pulling him under the spray too.

  
  


Jiwon wakes up to Jinhwan jumping on top of him. His smile is the brightest Jiwon has ever seen. Jiwon simply wraps an arm around him and switches their positions.

Jiwon settles on Jinhwan’s thighs as he kisses him as deeply as he can. Jinhwan lets out a moan that makes Jiwon smile into the kiss.

“Good morning,” Jiwon says.

Jinhwan smiles back. “Good morning.”

As they kiss, Jiwon can’t help but think about their journey. The death, the hope, the tears, the laughs. It makes something shift in him.

He could get used to this. Jinhwan, the island, the found family, the sunshine. A part of him, the one his family occupied, will always be missing, but without a doubt they’ll always live close to his heart.

As he cuddles and kisses and shares his warmth with Jinhwan, he knows this paradise they’ve found will make a home inside of him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to everyone who read this far! kudos and comments keep me going <3


End file.
